Thoughts Primavera

Today I realized I need spring.  In fact I’m willing to go on record here, I need this spring to be here, I need it now.  I’m comfortable saying I need this spring more than I have needed any other spring I have thus far encountered. Its palpable.  Recognizing a need is usually the first step in fulfilling the requirement.  However, I’m sure all of you are aware that Spring will come regardless of my needs, when it damn well pleases itself to arrive.  This year, of all years, when the need is the greatest, Spring has lollygagged.  Spring has not marched in (sorry for the pun), it hasn’t even moseyed, we are well outside the limits of even a saunter.  Insidious creep might begin to describe the seasonal transition this year.  Yeah I said it, creep. Since I can’t accelerate springs arrival, despite my best attempts at improving the global warming rate by driving an old truck too fast, I have to wait for it just like you.

Left to my own devises while waiting, I get caught up in thought.  Thought that tends to wrap itself up in tight little balls, which for better or worst often end up spit out into this Blog.  I’m not sure why I need this particular spring so much, and I’m sure none of you know.  However checking off this list of potential reasons makes for good memory fodder…..so strap in and join me.

A FisheyedViews Top 10 reasons to Love Spring (presented in no particular order)


 Easter Candy: There are two camps in the Easter candy world.  Those who love Peeps and those who hate them.  I am solidly a member of the Peep love camp, my wife is not.  We buy enough of them for two people, but I get to eat hers.  This way we avoid gluttony, and I avoid the guilt of Peep waste! 

2.       Graduation (High School): Looking back it was about this time of year that you realized, “I’m about to graduate! And there isn’t much this damn high school history teacher can do to me anymore!” It was great walking the halls, knowing everything was about to change in a few weeks…the excitement of being done with it all was great.  The actual graduation was a show, anticlimactic after turning in the last term paper. I remember wearing shorts under the gown and playing cards while whoever was the keynote speaker yammered on.

(College: Thesis delivered, Bite me Prof I’m done! Were is the Bacardi 151?)

3.       Sandals: One day you would be walking through campus and it would be a sea of blue jeans, the next you were awash in eye candy and your head hurt from swiveling so often to follow the moving scenery. It was as if the gods all whispered to the female population “Its warm enough for sandals, so wear something to show off your legs!” Or maybe, “Ok winters over, its breading season, you better up your game to keep up with the other girls” Either way, it is if a switch is thrown and all of a sudden more skin is exposed.  On behalf of most of the male population, thank you whispering gods!

4.       Green: Walking in the woods or driving down 95 green is great in the spring.  With everything budding and blooming, spring brings green in every shade imaginable.  Its not the standard leaf green of late summer, stale and uniform, where the grass matches the maples.  This is 4 million shades, nicely contrasting to the still brown underbrush and the stems and branches. Fresh, and with a climate that allows you to get outside and enjoy it.

5.      
           Trout Season: Wake up early, don four layers culminating in Gore-Tex and rubber boots.  Arrive at the stream 2 hours prior to the official start time (8AM), wait.  While waiting and guarding your spot, note how as the adrenaline and caffeine wear off you get cold, and have to pee.  Peeing is no small feat in chest waders!  At 10 till 8, an idiot with his new waders and fishing rod still with the store tags on it, walks up through the middle of the stream and stands on the fish, and proceeds to make loud small talk with those plotting his doom.  You fish for an hour, catch two fish that swallowed the hook and died, which when fried are mealy and bland because the State stocked them only 3 days prior…..Somehow it is fun and you look forward to it every year.

6.       Open windows: Driving just isn’t driving when the windows are up….you know you want to crank up the Sir Mix-a lot CD, roll down the windows, and hit the main drag.  Or maybe some great euro-techno and find an empty, curvy road to fly down.  Spring makes it happen.

7.       Baseball: Beer, Hot Dogs, early season before the heat makes the fans smell. T-Ball and Little league before the kids lose interest and prefer the pool. Its all good.

8.       Spring is an affirmation of life, (See Sandals and Green) you have survived the winter.  I know in today’s world surviving the winter isn’t a regular concern.  Sure some people are in bad situations but I think most of us don’t necessary worry if the provisions stored throughout the summer will be enough to carry us through the winter.  Thanks to Shop Rite winter scurvy and diphtheria are a thing of the past.  Spring is where mother nature wakes up, and begins to mend the wounds winter ripped open. Although “civilized” in ideals we are not too far removed from nature to “feel” spring.  We know it’s here when it’s here, and we relish it.  (sorry allergy sufferers).

9.       Birthdays: I’m a spring baby, my kids are spring babies, most of my in-laws and family are spring babies.  April showers bring may flowers, but mid summer thunderstorms bring Spring Babies.

10.   Beer: Winter is brown liquor, Summer is clear, Fall is for red wine, while Spring is for Beer.  Yeah ok poetry aside, as soon as it is warm enough to open the windows I’m jonesing for the first case of Lager beer. 

Now that I have you thinking….what’s on your list?  Add a comment.

Duty Free: My Advise to Future Disney Travelers

Thanks in a very large part to my In-laws; I have just returned from a great trip to Walt’s World.  Or rather Worlds, as there are 4, Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Epcot and Hollywood Studios.  The trip was our families first and included my sons’ first flight, first upside down roller coaster, and the first TV in the bedroom experience for the kids (which strangely I think will be what they remember most).  Prior to leaving we did our homework, bought a planning book, reviewed the web and took advice from those who have ventured before us.  In fact advice is so common and forthcoming, I feel obligated to pass on my experiences, as if it was a final atonement prior to being allowed to return. So lest I piss of the Mouse god who started it all, the following are my thoughts and experiences.

But first some back ground.  We stayed 7 days in a rented house just outside of the parks in a community called Windsor Hills.  House had 4 bedrooms a screen enclosed pool, patio, and a kitchen…..everything we needed.  (excepting dishwasher soap, hand soap, or sharp knives).  We were able to leave the house and navigate to any of the parks in less than 15 minutes, door to gate.  Parking was 15 per day, and the Disney people know how to run a parking lot…trams were quick and painless.  We would typically hit the parks in the AM and stay as long as the kids had energy, then go home cook a dinner while the kids hit the pool.  On a few days we left the park prior to lunch chilled at home then returned for the evening. We hit every major ride and attraction in the 4 parks, Dumbo through Tower of Terror, Stitch through Energy.

Everyone in Disney is helpful.  When they say “how can I help you?” they mean it.  Not like us New Jersey types who use the phrase to mean, get out of my face.  Ask for help and you will be surprised.  We got free stuff, made it to the front of the line and generally were happy….the vat of Kool-aid must be huge because everyone drinks it.

Disney Fast Pass is worth it!  We waited a maximum of 15 minutes the entire time we were there.  The fast pass gives you a ticket with an hour bracket to return where you get to skip the line….this is a must.  When combined with the I-Phone app that shows you real time waits and maps, we were able to get a fast pass, head to a ride or two without a line, then return for the fast pass.  No down time.  It was great, but we criss-crossed the parks several times, lots of walking.

Take good shoes.  We walked 4 miles a day, on hot pavement.  If your shoes are stylish, they are the wrong shoe for the parks.  We used Keen sandals for adults and kids alike and were able to get through just fine.  You want something that dries quickly but has good cushioning.  Also since you are already carrying a backpack add a few band aids and mole skin to get on anything your kid complains about before it becomes a blister.  Sore feet = pissy kid= pissy parental unit.

Take a backpack: Bottled water is $3.78 per pint, we went through 10 pints a visit.  Do the math, even if you have to buy the backpack it’s worth it. They search the bags for evil doers, sharp stuff, and glass, but it was quick.  Freeze some the night before and drink them as they melt.  Refill from the others to keep cold water in the kids.  Also in almost every ride the bag fit nicely in the car with me or my wife.  Bag is also good for snacks…Duh!

At no time where the rides too small for me, I fit everywhere.  This surprised me as I’m over 6’6” and on skinny days exceed 300 pounds.  Space Mountain was the tightest fit, but worth being jammed in the car.

Disney does not sell gum.  Ok I get it, they don’t want it on the ground in the parks.  However the airport doesn’t sell it either.  So on the return trip if you like gum to help relieve the pressure in your ears, buy it on the way to the airport.

The parks are worth seeing at night, everything lights up, fireworks, a cool parade with lights, and nifty light saber like LED toys for the kids to play ninja with. Epcot especially is cool at night.  Really, the counties in Epcot were “lame” for the kids during the day, but at night became cool, plus Epcot serves some good booze, which you may be more interested in after 5 than before 11.  The Magic kingdom does an excellent show with fireworks at night.  We were most impressed with the light show on the castle.  Somehow they made it look like it was on fire….very cool.  The “Fantasmic” show at Hollywood studios is also worth seeing, the story is disjointed but the light show is amazing..

Some of the rides are loud, really loud, scare the kids loud.  Get disposable soft in the ear plugs for young kids at CVS.  It’s a 5 dollar fix that will help them brave the loudest rides and keep them from fearing the next ride.  The Dinosaur ride in Animal Kingdom was the worst offender.

The monorail is neat, but it breaks down and can be crowded.  I think at times we made it home faster than those in our party who stayed on Disney property and used the Disney transit….so consider all your options before staying on Disney property.  Besides the pool attached to the living room was excellent at the rental house.

Disney restaurants are a mixed bag.  We heard great things, but frankly I was disappointed.  We ate at the Aquarium place in Epcot, Morocco in Epcot and did the Luau in the Polynesian, and my reviews in order are….Dismal, OK food, good service, Good show, OK food.  The dismal in the Aquarium place was due to horrible service (really the only sub excellent customer service of the entire trip) uninspired food, tiny portions, and a bad view.  In this place you look out into a large aquarium, however we were 50 feet from it, and it is so poorly lit you can barely see the fish.  If you want good food and a view of fish hit the Rainforest Café….that was great.

Lastly, Take Pictures.  All over the parks are Disney types with cameras who will take your picture, and then give you a card.  The card lets you collect the pictures from the pros for later perusal and purchase.  Be advised, the purchase at home for a digital copy is like 14 bucks each. However those same pros will also use your camera to take the same shot.  This is key.  They know how to take pictures and were very happy to use every camera handed to them, and are conveniently stationed in prime locations.  On our return we found no need to purchase any of the Disney shots because the pro took the same shot on our personal camera….cha ching!

Ok, I’m spent.  Hope this helps, I have done my duty. I now return this blog to its original slightly skewed, and highly opinionated programming.

The Flounder and the Chameleon

My son has the fastest Chameleon in the land, its green with shimmering red and blue bands.  Similarly his younger brother owns the fastest land based flounder ever, its red and black, with a gold skeleton.  These beasts don’t quite conger thoughts of speed for most of us.  For my boys, these lower vertebrates are the very embodiment of speed. They chose them as the basis for their Pinewood derby cars.  I was proud of my boys for stoically picking up, and racing the only animal themed cars in the troop, they unabashedly raced faster looking cars, and often won. 

Lesson: Do your own thing, Stand Strong, Innovate rather than follow.

What strikes me about the race was the conflicting messages the kids received. A race is by definition a contest to see who is best, but they were regularly reminded to cheer for everyone, “we are all winners” “If you had fun you won.” No! If you won, you won; if you lost you lost, hopefully you had fun regardless. The idea is to build a car and beat other cars and win, it isn’t just part of the American mantra, it’s a theme etched into the very psyche and genetic code of boys.  We don’t race to tie, we race to victory.  Victory means someone lost.  We want them to be fast, we want them to be the best, they want to win, but then we encourage them to be nice about it….something doesn’t add up.

What we should be saying is play to win, be prepared to lose, accept whichever outcome graciously. (In my book an end-zone dance is gracious, punching the guy who beat you is not)

I see that it is a hard line to walk balancing grace with victory, especially with kids. No one wants to see a shattered kid weep over a lost pinewood race, rather we want to see a kid beam with pride. Instead of teaching the kids how to handle disappointment, the scouts were admonished for showing pride or support for the winner.  Ridiculous.  We should not tame the winner, in the hopes of buoying the looser.  Let’s hold the winner high as an example and give kids a role model from within their ranks.  Build pride, by building a challenge.  Kids are perceptive, they can spot a stranger looking at them from 100 yards, and know a hollow victory, if everyone wins there is no pride. 

In life you win and lose, some people win all the time, others lose all the time, the rest of us have to learn how to recuperate after defeat and continue to push for the next opportunity to win. (I had a professor who called tests “an opportunity to demonstrate subject mastery”. I hated it at the time but think it is a great way to look at a challenge.) 

As a society we are softening, we are sheltering our kids from the reality that you can’t win everything, they don’t know how to lose.  Video games just allow you to restart from where you began….not a great lesson.  Everyone gets a trophy, ok the trophy is small and meaningless.   “We are all beautiful on the inside”….crap; guts are ugly, evil is internal, and people run the gamut from perfection to putrid. 

It is important for kids to know how to lose, to know that losing one race is not the end of life, to use what they learned from the loss to help them become prepared for the next challenge.  I’m not condoning the idea of teaching our kids to lose, or promoting that losing is ok, or even the idea of reducing goals to ensure success.  These ideas all suck.  It’s a recipe for an underachiever.  Teach the kid to win, strive to win, want to win, enjoy winning, set big goals and work to beat them.  But also teach them how to handle a loss.  How to accept it, pick up the pieces and move on…..and if that means fighting again, now you’re a bit more ready.

The Chameleon came in second, my son was disappointed, frankly I was not.  He needed the lesson, and handled it well.  He built a fast car, raced well, and lost.  I am proud of how he accepted it, congratulated and admired his friend’s car, and I’m proud that already he is discussing a new design for next year.    

Lesson: You learn more from a loss than a win, but winning feels good.