Peace

PEACE

Those of you who know me well might accuse me of being dramatic, to be fair that might be true. I have been accused as having a “way with words” and being too thickheaded, self-righteous, and by one mis informed moron a racist bigot.  That’s all just fine, since it doesn’t matter how you find me, as long as you find me. 

I have found myself looking at my cell phone far too often, engaging in small conversations and arguments with people on social media, almost by definition small talk. I’m sure I have not missed life because of my phone, but I’m also sure I have traded real and substantive conversations for the tedious and pointless.  I love a great argument, but those in typeface, 5 spastic sentences at a time, lacking booze, facial nuance and verbal tone are frustrating rather than fulfilling.  I think I’m done with it.

I have had these thoughts for a while now but have been reluctant to take any action.  The news will tell you that we are all addicted to the social media.  I’m not sure that’s me.  I have been a reluctant user since I have used my social media to promote my blog, educate the public on my pet topics, and generally stir the pot.  Some things have changed.

I have been writing but the last few things I have churned out have become pages long and exceed the short rant I prefer, and I think you would tolerate.  I think the window vent offered in social media has taken a bit of the wind from my lungs and mis appropriated my time and passion and I want to reclaim it. 

So, in case you care, and even if you don’t, please be informed that I’m going to scale back my presence on social media.  I’m not deleting my account since I want to own it, but rather I’m going to delete Face World from my phone and tablet.  Having to act to get on the site will drastically reduce my involvement.  I intend to keep some of the social media current like Instagram since I enjoy the pictures folks post and find it less likely to generate a one sided political and pointless argument.  I’m also going to keep twitter @floodmapper open since I rarely use it, and never read it……Linked In as well.  So if you wanna find me out there you can, the blog https://jim-afisheyeview.blogspot.com still stands and will remain open until I find a new platform.  Or you could email me JFDEANGELO@GMAIL.COM

I wish you all the good luck and challenge you all to find your happiness.

Travel Travesty

Travel Travesty

Today, dear world, I found myself staring down the barrel of the hypocrisy gun.  Typically guns are best pointed away from one’s self so you can imagine my chagrin just now, as I see the business end clearly.  I trust you; my dedicated readers, to have some pity on me and consider the facts before issuing judgement.

I suffered, cramped in a rather small seat, on a fairly large airplane the other day.  It seems United has once again shortened its seat pitch and left normal sized folks like me in pain and smaller sized folk who sit near me, challenged to claim some room for themselves.  While grinding my teeth at the attendant who would not let me switch seats, I became a bit more sensitive the ridiculousness of the airline experience.

I think what got me fired up first was the Phrase “pre-Board” and before I go down that rabbit hole I would like to pause and give props to the departed George Carlin…..George said it all best. https://youtu.be/vdPy5Ikn7dw (Use headphones, George Swears a bit)

How exactly does one pre-board an airplane?  In airline parlance pre-board means that folks with certain abilities or certain disabilities can board the aircraft first.  There are lots of words in our language that have “pre” built right in, pre-board is not one of those words.  You can’t just stick “pre” in front of something and expect it to make sense.  Is life really just a pre-death experience?  Is water pre-ice, pre-beer, or pre-pre-piss?  To me pre-boarding is all of the stuff you have to do to get to the gate. Pre-boarding procedure includes yelling at the clueless to move up to the next ticket counter, removing your dignity at security, paying too much to replace the water that security will not let you bring through and lots of vodka. You can’t get on a plane, by pre-getting on a plane.

Usually I’m in no hurry to get onto the plane.  As long as the seat is assigned I’m good, and the folks who are disabled like the infirmed or those with kids, and those that are super abled like 1^st class passengers get on the plane first, good for them.  They get to sit there an extra 15 minutes. 

On this recent flight I boarded in group 4…..and by the time I got on the plane I found that most of first class and all of the exit isle seats were open, free, devoid of ass.  I was pleased to see this as I crammed my frame, next to some poor schlep who did nothing to deserve my encroachment, in the aforementioned pre-assigned midget seat.  As soon as I saw the plane doors shut, I asked to move.  Most airlines are glad to see me relocate like this.  It makes me more comfortable and those around me happier…..not United, I was informed that although the seats were empty, I could not relocate since it cost an extra fee and they were unable to charge me…..

I sat there and concerned myself with pre-boarding and pre-flight procedures and listened to the pre- crash safety lecture and learned I should use the restroom in my own cabin to dispose of my post-coffee.  It occurred to me that the coveted safety exit isles were still empty and I became concerned that a critical component of the aircraft's safety plan was missing. 

For those of you who don’t know, the emergency exit rows are reserved for people who can speak English and are ready and capable of opening the door in a post-panic (emergency) situation, at the direction of the flight attendant or captain.  With the rows empty, who will quickly perform this task?  We know it’s important because you must say “yes” each time the attendant gravely goes over those responsibilities with you. 

But here now, the rows sit empty.  No one to say yes, no one to follow the captain’s orders to save us in those critical pre-post-life moments.  In an emergency, seconds are critical and there was no one pre-positioned to pre-prepare for the post-crash actions and help extend the pre-death of the rest of the passengers. Moreover, I was rebuffed when I volunteered since I couldn’t pay at that moment; to shoulder the responsibility and pre-save the plane, I would have had to pre-pay.

While you wrap your head around all of that, consider the FAA makes airlines have these rows to facilitate emergency evacuations, tests are run on full aircraft on how quickly they can be emptied and these tests have a capable person sitting at the door ready to open it.  Airlines have been allowed to capitalize on that extra space by shrinking the other seats and charging more for the larger leg room. Since they allow anyone to buy it, you often see the 75-year-old man who is too frail to have to remove his shoes or jacket in security, sitting in the exit row, the gateway to life in a pre-airport landing (crash).  So now frail old guy who pre-paid extra for the seat says “yes” when asked if he can move a 50 pound door and make way for the rest of the terrified pre-death souls, he has already lived his pre-death and damn it, pre-paid for the seat…..while someone like me, who could certainly open the door, is willing to do so, and frankly could use the leg room, can’t because I didn’t pre-pay to pre-board and sit in the pre-airport landing pre-exit row.

Of course, by now you are wondering what the hypocrisy was all about.  Perhaps you are new to my Blog and have not had to wade through as much literary tripe as the rest of my followers.  For you, new and dear reader and for those less apt to pre-forget (remember) my other blog posts, I will draw it full circle.  

Anyone who has read my writing knows I take ample freedom with the language.  My grammar, spelling and phrasing are best described as Jimmish rather than English. I have drawn the stink eye from many of my English teachers through the years as I argued “If Poe, Melville or Hemingway can butcher a sentence structure, why can’t I?” To which they would counter, “But you’re not those guys, and you’re not a writer.”  Well for the record, I consider myself a pre-writer now and I take full advantage of the rights, privileges and honors thereof. Ha!

Still though, you must admit there is a vast difference between someone like me molding the language poorly and a huge multi-national corporation.  My invented words are silly, theirs are used for safety briefings for thousands of people a day.  If you read even some of the signs in an airport "Rainman" style, and go for the literal meaning, you will be walking in circle for hours. 

While I will not be flying United again, and I encourage you to refrain as well, I would also like you to think about how our countries willingness to allow corporations to drive away common sense is really hurting us all.  Not only are they making me cranky and those around be uncomfortable, but they have corrupted your safety by allowing less than able bodies in the exit row in the name of profit.  Really if your too old to be a NSA security threat, your too old to be an asset in a pre-airport landing.  The ax of capability swings both ways.  Moreover, just think of the damage these corporations are doing to our youth by broadcasting bad language and inventing meaningless words; travesty upon travesty.

Size Does Matter.....To You

Size does Matter…..To You.

I would like to dedicate this rant to the old lady at the voter registration booth who quaintly said, “Oh, my you’re tall.” When I handed her my voter card.  Which would have been ok but when I countered with a charming chuckle, “I’m not going to apologize, it’s not my fault.” She said “Yes it is, you take up too much room.”

Hello, my name is Jim; and yes, I am tall.

It may come as a surprise to you, but I know that I’m taller than most people.  I don’t need you to inform me about an obvious fact of my life. Amazingly, I have almost always been tall, this isn’t a new condition.  So please do repress the need to mention it.  “You’re tall” is not really something you need to say out loud. After all I have managed to afford you the same courtesy and I refrained from mentioning your nose, small hands, or large ass.

I wonder today what you really expect me to say when you confront me with “You’re tall.”

• Is it a compliment, do you expect a thank you?  “You’re Tall.” “Why thank you, it took a lot of hard work, I would really like to thank my mom for her choices that made all this body possible.”
• Is it a question, are you wondering if your eyes are deceiving you, as if last night’s mushrooms are still tripping you out? “You’re tall.” “Yes, I am. Its ok, this is really happening.”
• Are you seeking recognition yourself, do you expect me to then mention some bit of your physicality? “You’re Tall” “Thanks, and look at you! Great tits!”
• Do you want me to demure? “You’re tall” “Oh I’m not really that tall, 2% of the planet is bigger than me.”
• Are you accusing me, do I need to apologize for myself, for my genetics or for your ancestor’s poor mate choices? “You’re tall” “I’m sorry your great grandmother was into short dudes.”
• Do you want me to brag? To speak of grand feats of tallness, in a deep voice like Paul Bunyan? “You’re tall” “Once far away, I reached the top of the cabinets without a stool and then changed a light bulb, it was epic!.”
• Are you scared and in need of reassurance? “You’re Tall.” “Don’t worry, I have already eaten two people today, you are safe……for now.”
• Are you dimwitted and can find no other topic for small talk? “You’re tall.” “Your obviously not smart enough for me to waste my time talking to you, stop wasting my air.”
• Are you afraid that I don’t know your there and ask out of self preservation? “You’re tall.” “Hi, I do see you down there, believe me. I’m well aware you’re delaying my progress; speed bump.”

The reality is that being tall is one of the few purely physical traits people are comfortable mentioning directly and without context.  I find myself confronted with “You’re Tall” regularly by random people who find themselves in proximity to me. I can almost feel the statement coming. Sometimes there a “Wow” in front of it, or “Tall” is modified by “Really” Woman are more likely to say it with a smile, more or less out of the blue. Men wait to mention it, typically until some sort of other ice breaker or introduction has occurred.

Today while pouring my morning coffee from the communal office pot, a co-worker who I have worked with for several months was behind me. We have never really chatted before so I had a suspicion he would be nervous. Almost exactly on cue, “Coffee hu?” “Yeah” I began, knowing what was coming next. “I drink about 40 ounces a day.” “Wow, well I guess you need that much.” As he stepped closer to me to highlight the height difference with his free hand marking the invisible height line over his head.  “I guess it really doesn’t stunt your growth.” I felt like messing with this guy a little bit so instead of just nodding and smiling and rewarding him. I stepped closer to him, looked down and said, “What makes you think it didn’t.” 

So Dull!

While I’m at it and have a bit of your attention, I would like to dispel some of the mis-beliefs I feel plague the diminutive masses about those of us who cross the imagined tall barrier.

ALL TALL PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW EACH OTHER:

No, I don’t know that guy from your high school seven states away. There is no secret society of height and if there were, you would obviously be below its standards.

ALL TALL PEOPLE DO NOT PLAY BASKETBALL:

Just like any other sport, no one demographic can be assumed to take part.  I have been accused of being a waste of natural talent by many folks who tried to teach me to play the game, believe it or not. Which of course begs the question : ”Do you play miniature golf?”

ALL TALL PEOPLE DON’T TRY TO BE TALLER:

Just because you are 5’9” and tell girls you are 5’11” doesn’t mean tall people want to do the same.  Really, if you’re asking me how tall I am, your shorter than me by a good margin.  It doesn’t matter if its 4 inches or 14 inches, get over it. If I tell you I’m 6’7” tall believe it, since you asked.

TALL PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE SUPERIOR EYES OR EARS

There is no rule that says we need to move to the rear of the venue and since there is no quid pro quo, there is no obligation to reduce our viewing pleasure for those behind us. Honestly, whats in it for me?

TALL PEOPLE CAN NOT MAKE THEMSELVES SMALLER

 Many times I have been sized up by a smaller person who attempted to fit me into something too small.  “Oh, you can make yourself fit can’t you?  It’s just for a little while.” This happens a lot in rental cars, airline seats, sports venues, and other peoples homes. Just like you can’t magically grow to reach the top shelf, I can’t shrink down enough to fit in a compact car with 4 other people.

TALL PEOPLE HAVE NO FASHION SENSE

Most clothing lines accessible to those of normal income are not manufactured to meet the needs of the vertically gifted. The idea of a sale at Macys does nothing for us, since nothing will fit.  Most of our clothing is ordered online for ultra fashionable lines such as Cabelas, Sears, or Duluth.   Society refuses to believe tall people exist and forces us to dress in Old Man fashion.

Thoughts From a Bar Stool in Socorro

Thoughts From A Bar Stool In Socorro

I would be remiss to consider myself a cowboy or a poet, but to deny the desire to be both would be an equal disservice to the stark beauty of this ground.

I feel like I owe it to the people I knew and left on the east coast, to live and love life to repay the debit of guilt. I need to let you know that life isn't all soccer games HOA meetings. I want to let people know that America doesn't speak English and that a burger isn't as good as fast food gets. The rest of the world starts at the Mississippi river and it's different. A world where your shoes matter less than your hat and both better be dirty, a world that began before your Irish grandmother knew it existed and has been just fine without your stress, your lifestyle and beliefs. A world where a good neighbor helps but has no bearing over whats in your front yard, be it a plant or a Ford. Things are slow here and slow can be good. A place where who's your daddy matters but not as much as who you are.....Be White, Be Red, Be Technicolor, Be gay, Be foreign, Be weird, Be Christian, Jew, Straight or none of the above.....but be true to yourself and stand up straight, take what's given and give what you owe....It's a land of honesty because the rocks don't have time for lies and can't bend to accommodate your needs.....the desert is indifferent and the sky rules by example.

Albuquerque tries harder than it should to be a big city, as if there's a pride in that. The rest of New Mexico lives day by day....drought, fire or flood. It happens as nature intended and we adapt not because we have to, but because it's the right thing to do. Life is happening here, now, in this small dusty town, in one of two bars open past 9 PM.  People are dancing, dancing here happens in boots, blue jeans, and under a hat.

Outside, one can't separate himself here from the ground, its stark beauty appears barren but has fueled the soul of countless dreams while the sky, the blue within blue sky, holding clouds without rain, full of beautiful purpose.....commands attention. Enjoy the sky, enjoy the red rocks, the sparse green sage and pinion, live your life here not because someone else does but because it gives you the space to be the you, you always needed to be, in a world that almost doesn't care who you were but knows who you are.

So do come west, life is different here, plan to spend time outdoors. Drink the local beer and eat the local food.  Learn what true Chile is and know that Denver doesn’t have it.  Understand what a 5 hour drive at 80 MPH feels like without traffic.  Learn how blessed you are to have a Wawa, and how sad it is to eat at Chipotle or Taco Bell. Begin to understand just how diverse this country is socially, racially and geographically.  Come west to practice your Spanish and experience what a truly open space is......

It seems a lot of my friends have taken the plunge and are traveling west.  I have found myself writing the same bits of advice more than once and thought perhaps others might be interested.......

Sunscreen: year round, you will be closer to the sun and less atmosphere above you it makes a difference, also there less humidity to diffract sun light. Hat and sunglasses are the rule. Good sunglasses that are polarized make the blue sky pop and the red rocks glow.

Water: you will sweet less but the water just gets sucked out of you.  Be militant about having water on hand and drinking it.  You will need salt.  Gatorade works but has a lot of sugar.  Lays chips work but have a lot of fat, when we hike we take pickles along.  When you feel weak and tired, a bite of pickle is an instant cure. If you get a mild hangover like you were drinking last night, your dehydrated. Watch the kids, if they get cranky, they are likely dehydrated.

Don’t count on your cell for navigation: lots of places out here have no reception or its limited. Have a map.  Also don’t count on every cross roads to have a gas station or convenience shop. However after you cross the Mississippi, the travel times in google are accurate.  If it says 5 hours drive it means 5 hours, traffic isn’t a thing unless you’re in a City.

The hottest part of the day is about 4PM to 6PM……avoid being outside then.  The mornings are great.  This is especially true at the Grand Canyon, Painted Desert, Petrified Forest, Bryce and Arches. Nights will be in the 60’s to 70’s at low elevation in the 40’s to 50’s at high elevation.  For example today's high in ABQ heights was 95 we achieved that temp at 4:30…..tonight will be in the 60’s with a low of 58 right around sun up. My house in ABQ is at about 6000 feet.

If you are standing still, be in the shade.

Boots don’t need to be water proof, just makes you hotter, feet need to breath.  Things dry so fast here waterproof doesn’t matter.

Monsoon starts in early July, afternoon T-storms happen.  Seek cover.  Hail hurts and is common at elevation, lightning is for real something to be afraid of and so are lightning caused fires afterward.

Buy the national parks pass if you’re doing the canyon and at least one more park.  Its worth it and makes a great souvenir. National park rangers are cool, but will check your sight each night.  Be able to pack your food and cooking stuff away in the van each night, some parks require it.

Baby wipes are your friend when your camping.

Time is relative, let it slow down while you’re visiting.  Folks here are much less worried about being on time, than being polite…..and its not really all that rude to be late.

Not Me!

It’s been awhile since I have written, and for me life has taken some strange turns.  Not all for the best, and someday those challenges might be in added to this catalog.  I didn’t write the family newsletter this year, but I will.  It’s a story that should be told. My mind hasn’t been in the right place to write and while inspiration came, I allowed it to go, unscathed.

I’m telling you all this for two reasons. First, if you got the family holiday card and didn’t get my newsletter, you now know that no one did…you were not singled out.  Second, despite having a truly epic few months of mind bending life; ample time to reflect, observe and criticize, nothing has made me need to write more than what happened last night at 1:35 am. Before you connect the dots between Valentine’s day, early morning, and a mind-altering event.  Let me assure you, this story isn’t in the least romantic.

At 1:35 am February 14^th, 2018 I realized that I have become officially numb to the violence we as a society inflict on ourselves, allow to continue, condone through inaction; the violence we tolerate. Perhaps numb is the wrong word since I’m aware and I care.  Maybe I’m disenfranchised, asleep, or lost.   At that moment, I became aware of my own hypocrisy and I remain angry with myself for allowing whatever forces (media, fake news, exhaustion) to seep into my sole and lull me into this stupor.  Now after a bit of sleep and a perusal of the news feed, I see that I’m not alone.  We are all aware and have become apathetic.

Inexcusable! Unacceptable! Unforgivable!

What will it take for America to wake up and take some action against this threat?

Four Americans died in Benghazi, a place most of us never knew existed before the attack. 4….and the issue has been in the news for years, debated, investigated, pulled apart and kept alive in the media, 4 adults died, horrific… Who can we hold accountable? Who can we blame? Why did those in charge not take the threat seriously and better defend those citizens? How can the next Benghazi be stopped?  All questions asked by Congress, maintained by the news and broadcast on social media…..4 adults died half a world away and America was angry.

Where is our anger now?  We were given fair warning with Columbine, tragically reminded again and again since; Virginia Tech, Sandy Hook, Vegas, and now Parkland Florida.  Why aren’t we angry? Why are we not making this a huge issue?  Hundreds of lives, American lives, have been lost in the past few years, many of them children. Where is the famous American rage, the sleeping dragon that has brought airstrikes and invasions continents away? 

You are numb too, this is no excuse. We are all accountable for our inaction.

Often in life we become only fully aware of a situation when it hits us close to home, and then the situation becomes and issue, and has potential to become our “cause.”

Last night at 1:35 am I realized just how close to home this situation has become, how little I have done, and how frustrating our societies collective lack of action is.

On Monday afternoon I received an email from my son’s school.  There had been an incident, everyone was safe and the correct steps were taken…..I swept it away.  That evening I learned a few more details….A kid brought a loaded handgun to school and showed some kids, those kids didn’t think it was a big deal!  He then showed the gun to some more kids (heroes), who this time thought to tell the teacher…..the teacher informed the school leadership, who called the cops. The gun was taken without further incident, the system worked as planned…..  The kid claims that he didn’t want to hurt anyone else, just himself.  The gun came from home and was owned by his father, a retired military man who kept his other guns locked up, except for this one which he kept in a top cabinet for quick access, just in case. (This is inexcusable, military man should have known better, there is no reason to have a loaded gun accessible to children, lock up your guns!)

The school had a debrief with the teachers, the message was “the system worked” the offender is expelled (this is a whole other issue) and we can go about teaching.

Anyone else see the problem here?  I didn’t until I talked to my wife last night.  She reminded me as we talked about the Florida shooting, that it could have happened at our school.  The kid who was looking for attention, crying out for help, and could have easily pulled the trigger in the school purposely or accidentally with potentially tragic effect. It almost happened here.  The school focused on response but nothing about prevention or preparation.  Nothing is stopping the next kid. 

All of this hit me last night, it was only after the Florida incident that I became fully aware how close we as a community came to our own shooting and this thought made me angry over how easily I disregarded the event.  How quickly we forget, how easy it is to not take action. 

I don’t have the answers here. I do know that inaction is not the answer. It is a complex problem and it will require a complex solution, but there is some low hanging fruit.  Immediate steps to be safer.

I don’t want to engage you in a gun control discussion, our collective inaction is bigger than any conversation. Talk is cheap. I want you to wake up, be aware, and take action. We need to do something.  I want this shooting and those that follow (sad that I can say that) to be front page news forever. I want congress to do something other than pray (yes congress now IS the time to discuss gun control). I want money and focus on the issue. I want it to be debated, discussed and dissected by CNN, Fox, ABC, NBC, ESPN, the Pope and everyone in between.  I want laws and accountability.  I want school boards more worried about saving lives than liability.

“Thoughts and Prayers”, are not an action, not here, not now, not as our only resort.

I don’t want another “Me Too” movement, as unfortunately shooting victims all too often lose everything.  I want a “Not Me” movement. Not my kid. Not my school. Not my gun. Not my life.

I demand security for my kids and yours.  They are our future!

Four adults were killed in Benghazi and the county was so angry it became an election issue years later. 17 people (children) died in Florida yesterday and NBC continued with the Olympic coverage….If these shootings get only a fraction of the attention Benghazi did, we are on the right path…..we should be mad, these are our children, our lives, and our love. 

Be Angry, Be Aware, Take Action!