Somebody once told me that the thing most written about in
the English language is fly fishing. I’m sure that’s just wishful
thinking. Sure, fishing has Whitman, Thoreau,
Grey, and Hemingway. But let’s be real,
Love has Shakespeare, death has Poe, and Wednesdays have a litany of agitated
workers.
Wednesday; turns out it is named after Mercury. According to
a few online sources, in most languages and cultures, from German through
Korean, Wednesday references Mercury.
Didn't know that did ya? I didn't
either and I find it strange that a day so powerful, so feared, is named after
our most diminutive planet neighbor. So if you Google Wednesday and then follow
the links to define it, you find that some folks (Christians mostly) consider Wednesday
the 4th day of the week, because of course Sunday has to be first.
To be fair, with a name that includes our most massive and powerful celestial
neighbor, maybe Sunday deserves the pole position. I however, prefer to keep my Saturdays and
Sundays where they belong, firmly entrenched in the weekend, and therefore
Wednesday is my third day and Sunday is my last (gasp!). As an aside, it really bothers some people
that my outlook calendar is set to have Monday as the first day of the week,
not sure why more people don’t do it, keeps your weekends on the same page.
All things in life have a pattern and often the pattern is
undefinable by our feeble minds and limited scope, more often the patterns are
undeniable, and so we always find ourselves with the prospect of a Monday
following a Sunday and a Wednesday preceding Thursday. Deep stuff right?
Mondays Suck, it’s a universal truth. Many of you had Sunday free of work to chase
your leisure pursuits, some of you traveled, some attended a church, others
watched the Eagles loose….Maybe you ticked items off the “honey-do” list….Point
is you were not at work. Monday begins like a cruel joke where the alarm rings
at a far too early 7am; and you reluctantly realize you have another week of
work ahead of you. Monday afternoon slips in after you waded through the
morning meetings, you sorted email, and caught up with the office small talk,
some of you posted the cutesy anti-Monday Facebook propaganda. Work is finally
beginning and you feel OK with the world.
Tuesday arrives, just as predicated, and it is in fact my
favorite day to be in an office. All the
Monday junk is out of the way and people generally work, good things can happen
on Tuesdays.
Without the slightest bit of foreboding music or ominous cloud
cover, Tuesdays come to a peaceful end. We go to bed as if completely unaware
of the hazards on that await us once the hour hand crosses the meridian. All at once we are thrust into the dreaded mid-week
ordeal of Wednesday.
Maybe by now you’re wondering where I’m going with this,
maybe you don’t care; just the same, stick with me here.
This past Wednesday I had received 4 anti-Wednesday Emails,
saw 24 references to” Hump Day” in Facebook (for which I blame GEICO), had 3
coworkers drop “I hate Wednesdays or “Hump Day” jokes in my office and 2 folks
on the phone mention it. Ack! E-Gads, enough already! Wednesdays could be great, they could be
another Thursday, or with a little training the superior Tuesday. But we have to give it a chance. This all brings me to my next concern, what
is ”Hump Day”?
“Hump day”, I think implies that once you are through
Wednesday the rest of the week is all downhill.
Jokes connecting “Hump Day” to sex aside, I think this is a short
sighted misnomer to say the least and in fact may be limiting our nation’s
intellectual growth. I think we can all
agree that the best part of the week, the pinnacle, is the weekend. (I have
unscientifically determined that the absolute best and therefore highest part
of the week, is Saturday between the hours of 9pm and Midnight, which is the
period of time it takes to have three well-made cocktails after the kids are in
bed). If evil doesn't exist, then good
can’t either, and so you can’t have a hill without a valley. If Saturday evening holds a rope of continuum
high over its head, and hands the other end to next Saturday, what happens to
that rope? Where does the continuum sag?
It sags squarely on Wednesday.
Wednesday is no hillock, hummock or Knoll and it certainly
isn't a hump. It’s at best a slump, or a
draw, maybe a crevasse, we fall into and have to claw our way out of. I think you all agree. Really, have you ever thought about the
Wednesday stuff that’s out there, resent week after week, via social media? Is
any of it positive? Really positive, as in “Gosh golly I’m just so enthused it’s
Wednesday I’m going to sing like Judy Garland, in the lunchroom, with a
smile!” No, didn't think so.
Now that this is all out there, you may be a bit concerned
that without “Hump Day” you may wreck your circadian rhythm or have your moral compass
get all Jack Sparrowed. I thought about
that. I wouldn't want you to wander
around in a swarmy state with too much eyeliner, so I have enlisted Thursday to
help guide you through. I would like to
present with all due fanfare and pomp “Thirsty Thursday.”
What makes “Thirsty Thursday” better than the aforementioned
and now thoroughly disgraced “Hump Day” is that it promotes good cheer by
rewarding those who choose to follow in its grace. You have clawed your way out of the crevasse
of Wednesday and it’s time to celebrate! “Thirsty Thursday” demands that a fine
adult beverage be consumed after work hours, but with enough ceremony to
encourage relaxation. Maybe Happy hour
on Thursdays, Fairfax style! Without a happy hour, I recommend you find a good
sippin drink, learn to mix it well, and enjoy it; feet up, someplace relaxing,
with “Hump Day” far behind you.
I recommend in the hotter summer days you partake of this
fine beverage, invented by “The Fisheye View”, and if you know me, you
understand the name.
“Ginger Smile”
Ingredients:
Cubed Ice
Fee Brothers Cherry Bitters, or 2 maraschino cherries
Strong Ginger Beer, Goslings is my favorite, 1 can or bottle
Ginger Beer makes two tall drinks.
Rye Whisky, I recommend Old Overholt, or Rittenhouse. Something strong and harsh enough to stand up
to the Ginger Beer. Rye 1 or George
Dickle Rye is too smooth for the drink.
Really any whisky will work in this but Rye is the best.
Fill a tall Collins glass 2/3 full of ice. Add 3 dashes Fee Brothers, or 2 Maraschino cherries,
pour a strong measure, (2oz at least) Rye into glass, fill with Ginger Beer.
Cheers!
No comments:
Post a Comment