Invocation for the Holiday Bottle

I have studied the art of drinking under many dedicated tutors.  Each has imparted their preferences and rituals as time, money, and life stage allowed.  After my adolescent encounters with cheap beer, or homemade moonshine in the woods, I found my first drinking tutor in Bloomsburg who showed me how to effectively conceal cheap booze in soda.  After college I learned the art of the after work happy hour and had some excellent tutoring in the bars of DC. Then as my career progressed, more tutoring on drinking at the business lunch, business meal, and others, learning to know when to order the beer and when the martini was appropriate.   My last tutor did me the favor of refining my palate a bit.  I knew the rules, but he helped me work on points for style.  Some of those points are pretentious or simply hogwash, but the process of refining a style was great and I learned a lot, but mostly the importance of having an opinion on the booze in your drink.  

Now I find myself in a slightly more remote chunk of the world and to some extent have become the tutor for those around me.  I firmly believe that drinking should be taken seriously, and done well. It can be an art.

With that background, I gave my peers a bottle of Bacardi 8 for the holidays, and with it, the Invocation below. I thought it might stir some thoughts or perhaps make you thirsty…..And while this isn't a prayer, I feel it earns the title “Invocation” just the same.

Gents,

There has been lots of Bourbon talk around the floor recently.  Just for the record, that’s not a bad thing.  I have had opportunity to try many derivations of the fine amber spirit and find it is suitable for sippin year round here in Albuquerque, provided proper care is taken in selecting the right bottle. 

It’s for certain I’m the loudest among us, and I will venture that I take my drinking a bit more seriously than most as well. So it shouldn't surprise you that I have a few drinking rules.  For example: no Gin after thanksgiving, until the leaves bloom again in the spring.  Perhaps my favorite rule has to do with drinking alone. Generally drinking alone has its place; there are times when the couch and a beer are perfect. There are also the times when drinking should be social.  It is with those times in mind, that I give you this bottle.

I’m a fan of what I like to refer to as the Modified Russian Rule, or MR’s rule.  Eastern European friends of mine taught be about the Russian Rule over a few bottles of vodka.  Essentially, as far as they were concerned, this is how men drink. The Russian Rule:

1.       Place bottle on table

2.       Provide glass to each person

3.       Host fills each glass then his own

4.       Host proposes a toast

5.       Drink!

6.       Never fill your glass first, always pour for everyone

7.       You must leave the table rather than refuse the toast.

8.       The toast rotates around the table

In this method there is lots of chest pounding and singing, and since I don’t sing, modifications are necessary. The Modified Russian Rule:

1.       Place bottle on table

2.       Provide glass to each person

3.       Host fills each glass then his own

4.       Drinking commences

5.       Conversation

6.       Guest/ host refill glass as they like

The MR’s a bit less robust but there is a hitch.  Since guests fill their own glass as they like.  There is less peer pressure to keep drinking.  So if you provide bad booze, chances are someone will quit too soon because they don’t like the drink.  Vodka has almost no taste so it suits the Russian Method well.  But since we aren't singing, vodka is out, which in my opinion is generally a good rule.  The aforementioned bourbon is a fine choice for this type of drinking if you are with serious bourbon drinkers.  Eventually its heavy palate will wear out even the most dedicated, and the sips from the glass will get further apart.   Scotch will do the same, only faster. Tequila has its own rules so it’s out of the running, as do wine and beer. 

That leaves us with Rum.

Rum is perfect for the MR’s drinking rule.  Rum can be mixed with almost anything and taste good, which is useful if you have a woman in your vicinity.  Rum is also not a “shot glass” type of drink. I don’t think I have ever seen someone ask a bartender for a round of rum shots. Rum is unexpected, so your guests will be surprised.  Rum is social, just look at Jonny Dep. Rum is good on ice.

This rum is exceptionally smooth and slides down very nicely when sipped over ice.  You can mix it, but why would you want too? So for your next card game, or the next time you strap on your drinking shoes, pull out this bottle, give everyone a glass, and settle in for a brief trip to the other side.  If necessary you can add a dash of bitters, or a cherry, even an orange slice if you need to get fancy.  I however recommend it on the rocks two fingers worth at a time…..careful it disappears quickly!