Holiday Card Insanity

As soon as the turkey scraps are cleared and we return to the office it begins….Holiday talk.  You know the drill, discussion of vacation, leads to discussion of plans with family, leading still further to discussion of holiday preparation.  As the day draws nearer you can see the ragged faces and rumpled clothes on people as they try to cram holiday preparation on top of year end business practices.  By this time the talk is more focused, “Where did you find the Tickle Me Elmo?” “What exactly is a Bay Blade?’ “Do you think the TSA will let me board with this carry on? “ More time passes and people are prioritizing, the anti guilt discussions start. “This year I’m only making 24 dozen cookies, think that’s ok?’ I’m frazzeled, gonna cheat and use store bought eggnog!” “We used store bought garland this year.”

Invariably you encounter that one person who is done, they beam with pride and boast that the holiday shopping was done in August, wrapping complete by September, Menu planned and cookies cooked and frozen in October and Holiday cards out the week after Thanksgiving…..hearing this I’m never sure if I should congratulate them, hate them for their insanity, or feel sorry for them missing out on Fall. 

Since I refuse to play along with Holiday stuff until after Thanksgiving, I’m destine to never be done ahead of time….each year I look for things to trim, it’s the Project Manager in me. Since cutting back on cookies is unacceptable, I look for other ways to save the headaches. Last year we didn’t send Holiday cards, just ran out of time…..Huge mistake.

Everyone likes the idea of holiday cards, anything in your mailbox (Digital or Snail) that isn’t a bill; work related or from a congressmen is exciting.  On top of that the cards are pretty, often include pictures of the family and have a strange way of making you crave Bing Crosby.

However the cards take work….You all know this, nothing new here right?  At one time my wife made each by hand, from scratch, very pre jail Martha Stewart, then we had kids.  The kids have social calendars and no license to drive so now we just go to Sams upload a pic and buy in bulk.  We write something on the inside, address it, return address it, run to the post office with a large check wait in line to buy stamps, stick on the stamps and send ….figure 5 minutes per card, 75 cards per family…..6.25 hours and 70 bucks soup to nuts…..Upon receipt, the card is opened, a quick head nod accompanied by a “that’s nice sigh” and the card get posted on the doorway, poof it’s over.

I like receiving cards as much as the next guy, (which is more than the kids, but slightly less than the wife, the sigh and head nod just isn’t in my genetics), but also recognize the toll cards take on humanity….the cramped hands from the writing, strained eyes from Photoshop, and the dreaded tongue paper cut from envelope licking. (When was the last time you deliberately put your hands on something that was licked by someone outside your family? Envelopes can be gross.) The struggle required to get both sons into similar but not matching clothing (boys don’t wear outfits), and then hold still for the picture shortens lifespan, and strains marriages, just think of the healthcare costs! Every year it’s a struggle.

Without even getting into paper/energy/ environmental tree hugger stuff this is a pain.  Problem is people expect it.  Families expect it.  Hallmark is loving this.  I could send an E-Card out in a fraction of the time, and allow those of you who want to print it, save the trees and help speed the demise of the USPS…..but in my family electronic anything is insulting, cards come in the mail, and gifts come in person…..don’t bother mailing the gift or handing them a card, you will not receive credit. 

So often acquaintances see me and say, “Hi, got your card….still working on mine”, with the eye roll letting me know they are swamped.  I get it, no need to apologize, I’m not keeping score…I have been there.  I’m boggled that in today’s society where we have a plethora of communication tools bundled in a gizmo strapped to our bodies, we still hold onto the Holiday card.  The time when the yearly update of your family is gone, Facebook, Shutterfly, and the like make it easy to share instantly and painlessly with those connected to us by even the longest and thinnest thread.

So last year we got the hairy eyeball from family members who assumed we sent out cards, just not to them. “Didn’t get your card this year, I guess the mailman skipped me!”  Distant acquaintances may have thought twice about sending a card to us this year “They didn’t send one to us! They are off the list!” We learned the lesson, our cards have been sent. Nothing special, just the Boys acting up with a camera and a remote shutter.  Not sure I will ever know the true impacts of the 2010 holiday card debacle, the butterfly effect on this one could be huge.  ….but like I said I’m not keeping score, and I would hope you’re not either.

I would like to wish each of you the best in these heady times; and regardless of which deity you choose to follow, good luck and happy Solstice.

For those of you still writing, good luck, relax, and please consider self adhesive envelopes.