The Last Calorie

Have you ever thought about how distinctly different a hardboiled egg tastes when compared to a fried egg?  Same ingredients (Assuming you didn’t use oil) but distinct tastes.  Eggs are good and there are millions of ways to eat them. My favorite hands down is purple pickled, with red beats.  Just in the realm of breakfast there are a few methods.  My 4 year old maintains 5 distinct breakfast egg varieties.  Dippy (over easy), scrambled, almost yellow, almost white, and 50/50.  The first two are standard for most folks. “Almost white” is scrambled but we changed the name so he would eat it and it stuck. “Almost yellow” is pan scrambled, so crack the egg and fry mixing in the yolk.  This brings us to “50/50”.

A “50/50” egg is made by separating the yolk from the white, adding the white to half the pan, then breaking the yolk add it to the other half and cook without mixing.  The end result looks like a derivative of a yin and yang symbol.  My 4 year old did not invent these egg types, my wife and I were driven to be creative by a kid who is finicky at times and by a need not to cater to him too much.  So if the family eats eggs everyone eats eggs, you just get to pick your style.

The writers for 1960’s TV shows obviously didn’t have a 4 year old.  If they did they would know that kids don’t just wake up, stroll into the kitchen and eat whatever mom is cooking.  (Bacon is an exception, you have to be pretty hard core not to want bacon.)  My wife will wake up, hit the kitchen and make homemade pancakes with sprinkles (funcakes) but if Porter doesn’t like the sprinkle color he will not eat them.  (We have at least 7 distinct types of sprinkles). We know the mornings are a crap shoot, but we keep trying to figure him out, someday we will guess right, and the world will end, rapture.

Why am I thinking about eggs?  Its 10 PM and I’m just rolling home after a long day in the office,  worked through lunch, subsided on black coffee, adrenaline, and bile.  Usually I wake up, kiss the wife and kids and leave for the day.  But this day Porter rejected his 50/50 egg and asked for an “Almost Yellow” egg just as I was walking out the door.  So I grabbed the cold 50/50 egg and ate it.  That egg ended up being the only calories I ingested for 16 hours.  So I’m likely thinking of eggs now because my blood sugar is way below standards.  I’m sure there is a moral here but the blood sugar is too low to pin it, so I will leave it up to you.  Vote at the bottom of the Blog Page. Way down there.....